at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize