it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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