I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
