we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize