If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
