when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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