How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
