those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
