Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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