remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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