She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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