So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
