the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
