is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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