I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
