I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Randomize
