Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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