ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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