I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
