don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
