I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
