its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
