How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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