im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
