is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said her name was "party"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
