I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
