That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need water and some morals
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
tell me about the eggs
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
