i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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