Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
