Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
