I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
