i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
