i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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