I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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