dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We had sex on a dog bed..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize