maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
