Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
