Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I booty called her while she was in labor.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
