so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
