Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
