so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
