Sry I called you an 8
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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