i permit you to call me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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