he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
