are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
