last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
