i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's blow job season.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize