the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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