Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
