I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
