Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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