He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
