Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
