so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize