My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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