This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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