Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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