we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
