I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
